People say crazy shit to me all the time. When I say ‘crazy shit’ what I really mean is stuff I think sounds dumb. Stuff like:
‘God was looking out for you’
‘Mercury is in retrograde’
‘Abortions should be illegal’
‘Family Guy is rubbish’
‘Being gay is not natural’
‘Black people hurting white people is different from white people hurting black people’
‘Why should all the pressure be on the woman to get birth control?’I could go through all these statements and explain why they annoy me and I probably have over the course of my blog posts. I have strong opinions, but I’m also a sensitive little fuck, and I’m aware that most people think their views are right and true. I find it hilariously hypocritical. Opinions are like arseholes; everyone’s got them. EVERYONE has strong opinions. I talk to people a lot and observe and psychoanalyse the fuck out of everyone. Of course I do; I’m a writer. Everyone thinks their views are right. Theists think atheists are naive idiots and vice versa.
So how do we deal with this? How do we get along if we disagree on everything from TV shows to politics? An obvious answer is only hang out with people that think like you, but that’s impossible. No matter how much you think you have in common with someone, they’ll be something you don’t see eye-to-eye on.
They key is diplomacy. Understanding both sides. That’s what being open-minded is about; listening. My dad is highly intelligent but he’s also super set in his ways, and it’s very difficult to get him to change his mind about stuff. (I think his age plays a part). So I don’t try.
When you know a person won’t change their mind on something, don’t try to get them to.
Don’t waste your breath trying to get them to see your side. If they think The Godfather is shit and that’s final, change the topic. Don’t try and convince them that it’s a great movie because your words will fall on deaf ears.
With every single person I know I talk to them in a certain way. I always edit how I say something. I know exactly what to say to wind people up and push their buttons. (Ask my brother; I spent most of our childhood winding him up). Likewise I know what to say to ‘suck up’ to people. If I’m with a feminist I won’t spout anti-feminist rhetoric or make certain jokes. When I’m in AA I bring up the fact that I’m an atheist but I don’t go on and on about the absurdity of believing God is looking out for you and not the other millions of people that died of alcoholism.
The only place I wear all my ‘hats’ is on this blog. People don’t have to read my blog, and if they think they’ll find something offensive they don’t gots to look at it. If you really wanted to understand me as a person you probably could from reading all my posts. I’ve always been good with words, particularly the written word, and I find writing stuff down helps a lot.
If we lived in a world where everyone was the same it would be super boring, but also wouldn’t make any sense. You’d have a bunch of people who could cook the food but knew fuck how to protect the tribe. Compromise and diplomacy are wonderful things when applied correctly. Believe me, most people don’t understand me, and it doesn’t take me long to suss out how a person works. Learning to deal with people is one of the most important things in life. It’s how we fucking survive.