Genitals, obviously. When you’re born, the doctor looks at your genitals and says ‘it’s a boy’ or ‘it’s a girl.’ Suddenly the world has gone a bit crazy with this and decided to raise ‘gender-neutral’ kids, failing to realise significant differences between the genders.
If men and women weren’t different, there wouldn’t be two different genders. (And yes, there are only two for fuck’s sake.) Differences between the genders are both biological and sociological, as we know. Some cultures view manhood and womanhood differently. Modern day Britain has become very liberal and moved past stagnant gender roles.
Let’s look at biological differences first. Men and women have different brains and different hormones. Men have higher levels of testosterone, making them more aggressive, dominant and have a higher sex drive. Women have higher levels of estrogen, and release more oxytocin during sex. In terms of evolutionary nature, a man is designed to provide and protect, whilst a woman is designed to care and nurture. This doesn’t mean that nowadays a woman can't do anything for herself, nor does this mean men are emotionally insensitive rocks. It just means that naturally men are inclined to take care of their family and provide, whilst women are inclined to be better at emotional support.
And what’s wrong with that? Why is it wrong to want a man to take care of you or a woman to be there to offer emotional support? Being nurturing is a great quality. This is why there are more women in nursing in childcare than men. In one of my favourite shows ‘Sex and the City’, the protagonists are discussing why firefighters are hot and Charlotte says ‘because all women secretly want to be rescued.’ I don’t think anyone can literally rescue you apart from you, but what’s wrong with walking down the street with a man’s arms around you? What’s wrong with wanting to feel protected? The first man in a woman’s life (unless he ran away) is her daddy. Dad is there to protect his little girl. When she gets older it becomes her boyfriend/husband. What is the issue there?
Sexual differences are also part of this. The male and female organs aesthetically show this. The male organ sticks out. It becomes noticeably erect. The female organ is inside of us, and to the outside eye it is not noticed when it becomes erect. Again, evolutionary speaking, the man’s job is to spread his sperm to create offspring. The woman’s job is to raise said offspring, making her more cautious about how many sexual partners she has. Alternatively, I read in Sapiens that originally women would be polygamous as well as men, in order to have offspring with different qualities. I’m no sexologist, and I’m not sure regarding sex how much of it we know is based on biological differences or what we’ve been socialised to think. Hence why I’m trying to look at both aspects.
In terms of brains, the male brain is better at focusing on specific tasks, whilst the female brain is better at multi-tasking. The male brain is highly specialised, and separates things like emotion, information and relationships into different compartments whereas the female brain bands them together. This could explain why women tend to ‘over-think’ more whilst men are more direct. If a man says he’s busy, it means he’s busy. A woman tries to read into this in order to find ‘hidden meanings’ that aren’t there. Whilst the male brain finds a memory, analyses it then moves on, the female brain is more likely to ruminate over this again and again. This also shows why men appear more ‘logical’ or ‘analytical’ whereas women are more ‘emotional’ or have better memories.
Hence when people complain that more men than women are doing STEM subjects, perhaps it is just because the male brain is more suited to those than women? Just like the female brain is more suited to social sciences and humanities? Again, I don’t see what is wrong with this. It doesn’t mean women can’t do STEM subjects, just that they’re less likely to because of wiring.
So far I’ve only discussed biological differences. Now for sociological differences. Nowadays society has made gender roles less rigid as I mentioned. Putting people into boxes and saying ‘men are all like this’ and ‘women are all like that’ is never helpful. Certain behaviours are more feminine and masculine of course, but some things aren’t. Trousers for example. Trousers are more practical to wear because they’re easier to walk or run in. Same with high heels; high heels are impractical because they’re bad for your back and harder to run or walk in. In isolation, these things are neither feminine or masculine. A skirt or a dress in isolation is not feminine or masculine. There are certain cultures where men wear skirts. In Scotland they wear kilts. If I see a man wearing a dress I think ‘ew’, but a hundred years from now it’ll probably be normal.
Make-up, in isolation, is not feminine or masculine. There are cultures where men wear make-up. Great kings and queens in Egypt wore make-up because it looked fashionable and was associated with royalty. Make-up, piercings, tattoos; these are all just things people do to enhance their appearance. Tattoos are not feminine or masculine; anyone can get them. There are doubtlessly societies that look down on tattoos for men and women and see them as ‘crass’, just as there are societies where people don’t drink alcohol (Islam) or use technology (Amish). Socio-cultural norms play a massive role in how gender is viewed, and what is viewed as ‘appropriate’ or ‘acceptable.’
Having a bag is viewed as more 'feminine', but a bag in isolation is not feminine or masculine. Having a bag is actually very practical. If a man was carrying a hand-bag he would be seen as ‘girly’, but if he has a lot of stuff to carry then what’s wrong with him having a bag? Just like girls that wear trackies and trainers are seen as ‘tomboys’, but if they’re walking a lot or it’s cold it makes more sense to dress like that.
Most activities that are seen as ‘male’ or ‘female’ aren’t, they’ve just been socially accepted as that. The colour pink used to be a masculine colour; now it’s a feminine colour. I love pink, but I also like blue and black. Social trends change all the time, so social constructions of how gender is perceived also changes.
To conclude this, I would like to state that yes, there are innate biological differences between men and women, involving chromosomes, hormones and male and female organs. But in terms of social expressions of gender, those typically are fluid and do change regarding how society perceives gender. It’s very tiresome that I have to say this, but you can either be a man or a woman. Anything else is attention-seeking retardation.
Transgender is not a gender; you can only transition from male to female and vice versa. Gender cannot be purely social because if it was then trans people wouldn’t exist and gender dysphoria wouldn’t be a thing. I know there are going to be people thinking ‘sex is biological and gender is psychosocial’ but I’ve used the terms interchangeably because it’s easier and makes more sense to me. Gender is how you express your sex, if you like, but a woman who dresses in a masculine way is still a woman. I think people confuse ‘feminine’ and ‘masculine’ with gender being socially constructed. Social norms do change and what is perceived as feminine and masculine tends to change. But a man or a woman is still only ever a man or a woman.
This is funny cos it's true :)